The Broken Rainbow
by Princess Meerkat
Summary: Iris Spectra is thrown out by her mother because she is a Muppet. She is forced to go the boarding house, where she finds that she is respected and cared for.But Rufus T. wants to split the Muppets up. He plans ways to turn them against each other, writing fake notes to Muppets about breaking up, and even stealing. The final showdown happens when he kidnaps Iris.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own the Muppets

The Broken Rainbow

''Get out, freak!'' yelled Samantha Spectra '' I never want to see you again, Iris, and I don`t care where

you go!" _Way to parent_ thought Iris. Iris was a Muppet. A very colorful Muppet at that. But she hated

being a Muppet. But where else was there to go? She wasn't wanted anywhere. Iris had no choice. Her

only option was the boarding house. What is someone who is stuck at ten years old supposed to do?

Why? Life just wasn't fair. Iris was stuck with rainbow hair, spaghetti legs, and pale blue skin. She

shouldered her duffel bag and walked down the street. People stared at her. They saw her high tops

and torn shorts, red fleecy and tie dye shirt. It was getting late, so Iris found a park bench to sleep on.

She woke up the next morning in a bed. Where was she? Oh god, no… Iris was at the boarding house.

She picked up her glasses and the room came into better focus. When she got out of bed, there were

clean clothes waiting for her. Iris looked across the room and saw another bed, along with photos of the

Eiffel tower tacked up on the wall. _Great, I `ve got a roommate._ There was a knock at the door. It

opened and a certain frog walked in. "are you settled in?" he asked. Iris says "I guess.'' "well good, I have some things to do" Kermit says, "if you need anything, just get Gonzo, he`s right next door."

_Oh, great I`ve got hose nose and rat face for neighbors._ About five minutes later, a young girl enters.

She has blonde curls, covered by a red beret. Her pale pink skin has a few freckles on her nose, and she

is wearing a white half shirt over a red tank top, with jean shorts. "Salut!" she says "Oh, you must be the

new roommate." Her high voice has a heavy French accent. "`J`mappelle Margeruite" she says "do you

speak French?" Margeruite keeps switching from French to English. The other muppets are starting to

get worried. The latest addition won`t come out of her room. Then the phone rang. Gonzo picked up.

The lady on the other end began to speak rapid-fire French. "Maggie, telephone" he yelped. Margeruite

gave him the did-you-really-just-call-me-Maggie look. She growled softly and cracked her knuckles. "ok,

ok, sorry, Margeruite" he snapped. Margeruite relaxed. "Bonjour, ma" she said into the receiver. "Now,

where did my Camilla get off to?'' Gonzo muttered, searching the house. Iris was up on the roof. She

was doing something she liked to call "counting backwards." Counting backwards was taking into

account everything that had happened

and recollecting memories. Well, she was away from her crazy

mother, but now she was stuck with these people. There was a Jacuzzi party going on below. Margeruite

could be heard chattering away in French on phone inside. Iris had a sudden urge to jump. S he got

closer to the edge of the roof. Then, she flung herself over. Wow! Iris fell at least 11 feet into the hot

tub. "Like, whoa, what was that all about?'' asked Janice. Pepe tried to talk to Margeruite. That girl hates

being interrupted. "Taisez vous!" she hissed. "Que?" asked Pepe. Iris laughed crazily. These people

respected her! Little did everyone know, a villain was lurking. He had plans for all of them. He was going

to start by tearing love apart.

The next morning, Piggy saw a note taped to her door.

_Dear Piggy,_

_I guess you could say I`m breaking up with you, but I never felt the same way as you about us._

_We are done, for now_

_Sincerely,_

_Kermit_

The note had been forged by Rufus T. Piggy thought it was Kermit`s writing. "Where`s that frog?!" she

shouted.

On waking, Gonzo found a note was supposedly from Camilla under his pillow.

_I think we should take a break from each other. Ever since that whole alien incident,you`ve kind of kept _

_your distance. I guess we are temporarily breaking up _

Gonzo felt tears coming on. _Daredevils don`t cry._ Shelby the dog was outside, barking at the cars

on the street. Then, the mail truck rattled by. As it turns out, they do have mailboxes every few light

years. Shelby had met her boyfriend on the beach. His name was Gander, and there was mail from him

today. She barked at Fozzie to open it. "here you go Shelby" Fozzie said. Shelby woofed her thanks.

_Dearest Shelby,_

_My heart is aching for you. I miss you badly. I am planning a visit soon, and I will be bringing some of the _

_others . It takes longer for mail to get place to place, so I`m sorry about that. Do you have any ideas on _

_things to see? I didn't get a tour of the city in. I hear there`s new people at the boarding house._

_With love,_

_Gander_

Obivously Rufus missed this one. But there was more. He also had to destroy families. Where`s that

music coming from? He wouldn't miss the mail. Not this time, at least. Then there was starting a fight

between Margeruite and her mother, who lived all the way in France, and was only contacted by telephone.

Iris didn`t need afight started, but there was Andy and Randy Pig, Robin, Scooter and Skeeter, Gretchen, and Rizzo who did.

Gretchen was all the way out in some spaceship, headed towards Earth with several cousins on board.

He figured making the rats mad was easy enough, Andy and Randy were fairly stupid, it shouldn't take much.

Scooter and Skeeter were doable. Robin…. Was , however, a different story. Soon, the Muppets would be at each others throats, then they would split.

Something fell out of the sky. A big metal thing. "Guys, next time, don`t let Luis drive" croaked a voice. "Yeah, you said we would make a soft landing" grumbled another. "Well, this is the place" wheezed Gander, as he dusted himself off.

"Hey!" snapped Yolanda Rat, "What happened to my book?' She knew who took it. Or at least she thought she did. "You little ugh, Rizzo!" she screamed. The rats were soon very angry at each other.

Randy and Andy were walking down the street. Rufus was carrying something heavy.

"You look like a strong boy" he said to Randy "why don't you give me a hand with this?''

Randy felt proud. He stuck his tongue out at Andy. Andy conked him on the head.

The two pigs were angry.

The others tumbled out of the ship and found friends they had met at the beach. For Gretchen, it was Gonzo, possibly one of her last immediate family members. (The others weren't all that close, blood wise.) Sure, there were her second cousins, but Gonzo was the only first cousin.

"Shelby!'' cried Gander as came through the door. The whitish dog barked and covered him in licks.

Gretchen ran to the garage. The motorcycle was still there, the garage was rented parking space. Silver plated hubcaps, the bike was painted blue with silver flames, and the edges of the seat were rhinestone studded. She even had a matching helmet.

"You still don`t think she`s a little young for that thing?" asked Kermit, to a female with pink eyelids and hair. "No, of course not" she said ''I got my first bike when I was five earth years." "Was it motorized?'' asked Kermit. "You bet!" she exclaimed "it`s a rite of passage to get your first bike." "sheesh" muttered Kermit.

"Where are vous going to sleep?'' asked a Curious Piggy. "I dunno" said Luis "We can all bunk out in the garage."

Gretchen noticed the way Gonzo was acting. It was weird. She`d never seen him so downcast. He seemed to withdraw from everyone, especially Camilla.

After about an hour of this, Gretchen confronted him. "What is wrong?" she asked. "umm nothing" he said, not convincingly. "yeah, right" Gretchen said, tone dripping in sarcasm. "Does it have anything to do with this?" she asked, pulling the note out of the pocket of her jeans. For an eight year old, Gretchen was very perceptive. "Where did you find that?!" snapped Gonzo. "Oh, Rizzo found it under you bed" came as a reply. "Look, if you don't work it out with Camilla…" He cut her off "she wanted to dump me temporarily!" "You`re going to keep feeling sorry for yourself, and become a recluse!" Gretchen was yelling now. Gonzo looked really angry. Gretchen took off and ran, those bouncy purple curls flying behind her.

Iris didn't believe this. A bunch of aliens in the garage? What next, a tap dancing chicken? Right then, Camilla was tap dancing on the coffee table, rehearsing her act. "Oh brother" she muttered quietly.

That night, Iris was kidnapped. There was a phone call…. "If you ever want to see Iris again, come to the theater alone, Kermit" said an icy voice. Everyone was scared. Gretchen refused to come out of the walk in closet.

Piggy was still mad about the note. She was refusing to speak to Kermit. Kermit was scared, but he couldn't let them harm a 10 year old. Once Kermit left, the rest of the Muppets held a lockdown.

When Kermit got to the theater, the lights were out. He could hear muffled screams. Iris was attempting to make a break for it.

Panic fluttered through her body. Her arms were tied together with rope. Iris remembered something she had once seen on the Muppet show. A Great Gonzo act. She saw a knife on the back of her captor`s utility belt. She moved her toes and took the knife off his belt. Iris was very flexible, being a Muppet.

She brought her feet up to her mouth and grabbed the knife with her teeth. Her arms were tied forward to a post. She had the hilt in her mouth.

When Kermit got to the dressing room where Iris was, he saw her quietly sawing at the ropes. When Iris managed to get free, her captors turned around. "Get her!" shouted one. The other threw punches at Iris. Iris seemed to enjoy this.

She did a spinning sidekick that landed neatly between the first guy`s eyes. He stumbled backward and fell into a prop box.

She turned to the second guy. He was charging for a head butt into her stomach. She put her foot up. He ran into her foot. Then, she pulled a keychain out of her pocket. It was a tiny spray thing. She clicked the button. It was pepper spray! The man screamed and rubbed his eyes. "Serves you right" Iris mumbled.

Then there was Rufus himself. He came towards her. She was getting ready to introduce him to her left fist when…

He pulled out a knife! He held the knife steady at her throat. Iris gulped. "stop" came Kermit`s voice "leave her alone." "Well, well,well" came Rufus` slow drawl " he picked Kermit up and threw him a cross the room.

"Arret" came another voice. It was heavily accented, with French. Margeruite dropped down from a hole in the roof. "I thought I told you to come alone!" snapped Rufus. "I didn`t know she came" Kermit said, frankly. Margeruite landed deftly on top of Rufus. Unfortunately, she didn't weigh much.

Rufus shrugged her off his back. Margeruite looked murderous. She flew sideways and managed to knock Rufus away from Iris. Iris moved her hand quickly to her pocket. She yanked out a small mirror. There was one light on. She reflected the light into his eyes. Then, Margeruite got out a disorienting blinker. Rufus fell over. "Do you have a telephone?" asked Iris. "Umm yeah" Kermit said as he dialed 911.

When everyone at the house saw that Margeruite, Kermit and Iris were safely back, they began to argue.

Then all heck broke loose. The rats were yelling about who took Yolanda`s book, Scooter and Skeeter bickering about everything, Andy and Randy Pig butting heads, Margeruite yelling on the telephone, Piggy screaming at Kermit, Camilla clucking angrily to Gonzo, Gretchen crying, Some of the aliens in the garage were starting to lose it, too. Spray cheese was flying in all directions. Caught in the middle of all this was poor little Robin. Robin was trying to shut everyone up, but without success.

Then he remembered… the frog scout whistle. Robin blew as hard as he could into the whistle.

"Guys, stop it!' he cried "Uncle Kermit, did you even write that note?" "What note?" he asked. "This note, dragonfly breath!" snapped Piggy. "No, I didn't, that looks nothing like my handwriting" Kermit replied. "What is this, some sick joke?" asked Piggy. "Precisely" Iris claimed, stepping out from the crowd, "He told me himself." "Who?" asked just about everyone. "Mr. Rufus was hoping we`d fight so much we`d split" Iris said. "So he turned us all against each other, by writing those notes, and stealing the stuff?" asked Fozzie. Iris nodded. Everyone began to apologize to each other.

The next day, No one could find Gretchen. Her bike was in the garage.

There were sniffles coming from the closet. Scooter opened the door. "What`s wrong, Gretchen?" he asked. Gretchen was caught between silent sobs. She was holding a black stone box, with engravings and a diamond embedded in the top. "They died here" she said softly. "Umm who died?" asked Scooter. "Mom and dad" Gretchen looked almost 4 years old again.

She opened the box again. The memory box was line with black silk, spangled with small white stars.

Inside were photos of Gretchen`s mom and dad. Every alien had their own memory box. But when they joined lives, they shared one, and if anything happened to them, they passed it down. Orphans had their parent`s box.

"Do me a favor, Scooter" "Yeah?" "Go away" "Ok sure" . Gretchen hugged herself and began sing the lullaby her parents had once sung.

_This looks familiar, vaguely familiar, almost unreal yet, it`s too soon to feel yet. Close to my soul and yet _

_so far away, I`m going to go back there someday._ _Sun rises, night falls, but sometimes the sky calls, is_

_that a song there? Or do I belong there? I`ve never been there, but I know the way. I`m going to go back _

_there someday .Come and go with me…. It`s more fun to share, we`ll both be completely at home in midair. _

_We`re flying, not walking on featherless wings, we can hold onto love like invisible stings._

_There`s not a word yet, for old friends who`ve just met… Part heaven part space, or have I found my place?_

_You can just visit, but I plan to stay, I`m going to go back there someday._

Nearly everyone on Planet Weirdo knew that song. It was about a sense of belonging, and finding heaven.

Gretchen broke down into tears. They had wanted to fly, yet they had crashed and burned. It was flashback time.

_We`ll be back, I promise._ That was the last thing mother had said to a 4 year old Gretchen, standing on the docking area. _We love you, baby_ Those were the last words of Gretchen`s Dad. Then, they got on the ill-fated ship. When Gretchen`s aunt Tira had taken her home, she had cried herself to sleep that night.

About a week later, the news showed the ship, smoking in ruins on an alien planet, otherwise known as Earth. There were 2 silver body bags. Even at 4, Gretchen understood what they meant.

They had broken their promise.

They wouldn't see her rite of passage, getting her first bike. 

They found Gretchen in the closet crying. Gonzo managed to get her to calm down a little. Iris handed her a box of tissues. Margeruite, one of Gretchen`s friends put a hand on her shoulder.

The next few days, Gretchen refused to eat anything. Iris thought of her mother. Maybe she did love her, just a tiny bit. Iris was still broken. The broken rainbow.

I do not the song either so please don`t sue me


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 I hope you guys like this!

Iris sighed. What a week. First being kidnapped, asked to play poker (she declined, much to their disappointment) and comforting Gretchen, who as far as she knew was still up a tree (literally.)

She watched as Margeruite fenced against Gonzo, who was losing badly. "En garde!" Margeruite cackled as they started the 15th round.

Pepe, Rizzo and Clifford were playing poker. Kermit sighed and looked out the window. Gretchen was sitting in a big oak tree, munching on a rice cake. Gretchen was obsessed with rice cakes. She put anything and everything on them. He wondered who was going to talk her down.

"C`mon" shouted Luis, the corkscrew nose alien "We don`t have all day, ya know.

"What if we refuse to go back?" asked the girl with pink eyelids, whose name happened to be Gwen.

"Yeah" said another one, with green eyelids, named Gawain.

Staying here might not be a bad idea, thought Gander, as he absently rubbed his glasses.

Luis left all alone.

The next day, Kermit realized that they were too much of a target now. Doc Hopper, Nicky Holiday and now Rufus. We should probably split up now, he thought sadly to himself.

He grew more and more distant over the next few weeks. Everyone noticed and began to try and talk sense, but only resulted in more fights and started the leaving.

Rizzo and the rats were the first to go. Then it was Pepe, chef and the penguins.

Fozzie decided he couldn`t stand it and hopped a train to Reno, while Scooter and Skeeter took a bus.

Margeruite took the next flight to Canada, and Iris was sent to a group home, there was no way she was going back to her mother.

The band left and hitchhiked, but Animal left and went to an anger management class.

Gonzo and Camilla packed their bags and hailed a cab.

Gwen finally managed to talk Gretchen down from the tree. Her brother, Gawain had recently discovered a fiddle and loved the instrument with all his heart.

They left and took their bikes.

Everyone left, until it was just Piggy and Kermit.

Piggy didn't like how distant Kermit was and his refusal to marry her.

She went to France. Little did anyone know, it would be ten years before they saw each other again.

Those ten years flew by, yet no one had aged a bit.

Iris woke up and sighed. Her roommate was unbelievably messy. Dirty clothes everywhere, old candy wrappers. It smelled like an old locker full of limburger cheese.

It also was on her side of the room. She threw all the junk on her roommate`s side, then pulled across the divider.

She opened the drawers and found an old T-shirt and god forbid, a skirt. The lady in charge of this had taken all her shorts, wanting her to look civilized.

It was a good thing she was good with a needle.

Walter got up. Today Gary was leaving for L.A. with Mary. Gary was already up. "We`re leaving today" he said. "Oh, yeah " Walter replied "Can you send me a Muppet postcard?" "about that, Gary said "fraid not" Why? 'You`re coming with us!" "Cool!"

That was before they found out what was happening to the theater. Once they found Kermit, rounding up the gang was a different story. They found Fozzie at a casino in Reno. They found Gwen and Gawain at some church in Vegas. Gawain was, as usual sawing on a fiddle, while Gwen sang in her beautiful voice. Gretchen wasn't there, which was odd. She had hit the road on her bike. They had no clue where she was. "Gander hasn't seen his Shelby in like, 4 years" Gwen stated matter-of-factly

Margeruite woke up and came outside to an unlikely sight. Gretchen was just parking her bike on the driveway. "Oh, Gretchen!" Margeruite squealed "It has been so long, yet you haven't aged a day!"

Gretchen returned the hug. "Apparently they are getting the Muppets back together" she said "I came up here to get you." "Well, let`s Go" shrieked Margeruite, as they clambered onto to Gretchen`s bike.

About six hours later, this happened.

"Listen, bucko, he`s my cousin and I demand to see him, appointment or no!" snapped Gwen to the security desk man at Gonzo`s Royal Flush.

When he refused, she tackled him.

"okay, okay, I`ll let you in" he cried.

Kermit tried to explain things, but Fozzie kept interrupting.

"Fozzie, will you please CLAM UP!" snapped Gwen.

"Oh" Fozzie looked hurt.

When Kermit had finally managed to explain their predicament, Gonzo shook his head "My answer is no, Good day" he said.

Crash! Glass shards flew in all directions. A shimmery blue bike crashed through the window, carrying a somewhat disapproving Gretchen and a slightly green Margeruite. "Gretchen, dear, please tell me what you`re doing" said Gonzo.

"Oh, only trying to talk you out of making a bad choice" Gretchen said

"Your fans will be so disappointed" she said.

"They`ve forgotten us" Gonzo said quietly.

"You`re better than this" Gwen said.

"_She has a point_" Camilla clucked.

"At least Camilla knows what she`s talking about" Gretchen said.

With that they turned on their heels and left Gonzo with a choice to make.

"_You should go, you don't have to pretend anymore" _Camilla clucked.

"Oh, alright, fine I`ll do it" Gonzo said

Well, they had Gonzo, but they used a montague to get everyone else

Once everyone was back together, and hugs were exchanged although Shelby attempted to bite Gander`s darker blue hand off. "Oww!" he had screamed "I`m sorry, Shelby, I still love you, sweetie"

'Lay off him!' Mary said, "But she probably has a reason to be mad" as she broke up the alien and dog`s fighting.

Shelby still flashed him a look that stated clearly "we need to talk.

When they arrived at the theater, Gretchen begged Kermit to let her do a "Modern Dance" act with Iris, Margeruite, Robin and Bean.

Fozzie showed Kermit his fart shoes. Kermit shook his head.

In less than 12 hours, the show would be on TV, and Kermit didn't feel ready.

"Kermie, I am the star, right?" Miss Piggy asked.

"Ummm" came the reply

"Cause if not," Piggy said "I`ll give you a hospital room!"

"Sheesh" muttered Kermit.

Iris was helping Gary and Walter with costumes, while Margeruite helped design.

The 3 were working the needles busily.

Everyone was up late that night

"Bedtime" Gonzo said to Gretchen .

Gretchen whined and went to bed.

"Look, Shelby, I`m really sorry" Gander said

"_You chickened out on our date!"_ Shelby growled furiously "_You`ve never had the guts to pop the question!"_

"Is that what this is about?!" asked Gander.

_"Slip of the tongue" _Shelby realized she just made a big mistake.

She dashed out of the room in tears.

The next day they put on a show. But they didn't make it. Not even with chickens singing Forget You.

Tex got his theater. Gwen and Piggy could have punched his lights out. But, Rufus was still out there.

He gave it back, which apparently had nothing to do with being hit by a bowling ball. They moved back into the boarding house and all was well, for a while.

Chapter 3

"Going somewhere?" asked Rizzo.

"Umm, yeah" came Gander`s reply.

"On a hot date?"

"Maybe.

Gretchen was upsatairs, choreagraphing a dance that involved complicated gymnastics.

Kermit sat at the kitchen table with some of the poker players.

Margeruite Iris, and Robin were upstairs, playing video games.

"It`s so nice to be back, you know" Iris said.

"Oui,oui" Margeruite giggled as she blasted Iris`s icon to smithereens.

"Wheee!" screamed Gretchen as she somersaulted down the hallway.

"Yup, she`s definitely related to Gonzo" muttered Kermit, looking up.

Gander pulled on plaid shirt and polished his glasses.

He went outside to Shelby`s dog house.

Shelby was waiting for him, in her simple red dog shirt.

They walked down the street together, chattering away.

Gretchen suggested bungee jumping off the roof to Gonzo, who promptly agreed.

Once they got to where they were, which was a garden, Gander got nervous.

Shelby barked and sat down on a bench.

He took a deep breath and pulled out a diamond studded dog collar.

Shelby was amazed.

"Will you say yes?" he asked hesitantly.

Shelby nodded vigorously.

Gander clipped it around her neck.

They went back to the house.

"Well, Shelby, where`d you get that flashy thing?" asked Rowlf

Shelby barked once, which meant_ "It`s my engagement collar, dummy"_

"Who`s the lucky man?" asked Rowlf

_"Take a guess, idiot'_

"Hey, is that anyway to talk to your fourth cousin, once removed and it`s Muppy?"

_"Wrong! Gander of_ course!"

Rufus watched throught the window. This made him sick.


	3. Chapter 3

This is the second to last chapter

Chapter 3  
Rufus Had to stop this wedding. He was plotting. He couldn't stand them being back together. This time he would kill if he had to.

Iris sat on her bed, chatting with Marguerite. They heard a very loud, barky cough. Gretchen sat at the kitchen table, looking feverish. She fainted, her head banging on the table rather loudly. " Gonzo, you need to take her to the doctor" Kermit said.

"Okay, umm how do I get her there?" It was snowing heavily.

" Simple, throw her over your shoulder" Fozzie said.

Gretchen moaned softly. Gander paced nervously back and forth. He hoped this wasn't what he thought it was.

About an hour later, his fear was confirmed. "It's the flu" announced Gonzo.  
Gander slumped. Diseases from another planet really took a toll on aliens, especially young ones.  
"I'm gonna quarantine her" Gonzo said.

That night, anything Gretchen had touched was washed. She was moved out of her closet and into a room with its very own bathroom.

"I'm getting worried" Iris said to Marguerite.

"Moi aussi" Marguerite said nervously.

Kermit sighed. Gretchen was one of their best dancers.  
Miss Piggy didn't seem all that worried as everyone else.  
Banana Beak wasn't her problem.  
She just didn't want to get sick.

Rufus laughed. It had worked! His injection of the flu had worked. This would be pneumonia to Gretchen , because of a different DNA structure. He and Gander knew this, there was big chance she would never walk again.

Everyone woke up the next day to a loud scream. " My legs won't move!"

"Oh, no!"

Gonzo and Kermit got her out of the bed, but when they tried to stand her up, her small knees buckled and she face planted on the floor.

Her legs fell behind her, like useless blue spaghetti.  
She tried to use her wings, but she toppled over.  
"I think we have an old wheelchair in the garage" Fozzie said, trying to be helpful.

Gretchen broke down in tears. Her escape, dancing had been taken away from her. She didn't want to have to spend life confined to a chair.

Iris had reason to believe Rufus was to blame. Rowlf claimed to have smelled him in the house.

Margeruite found fingerprints on the doorknob to the closet Gretchen had slept in

She and Iris went inside to investigate.

There was a note! Come to the Mallory Gallery alone, Kermit if you wish Gretchen alive.

They brought the note to Kermit.

On the back it said  
"you have 12 hours"

Kermit went to the Mallory Gallery, but everyone else followed him, except Gretchen.

Margeruite held her foil out in front of her. Iris had pepper spray at the ready and Lew Zealand had his sword fish.  
Chef brandished a rolling pin, while Animal tapped his drum sticks impatiently. Gander had a hard cover book and Piggy had her karate moves.

Once they arrived, Rufus was waiting in the shadows for Kermit. Gonzo crept up behind him. Margeruite casually lifted her foil.

They charged. Gonzo saw a needle in his hands. "What's that?" he asked.

" Oh, this?" he sneered, as he threw it out the window "Only something that could have saved your precious Gretchen's life!"

"En Garde!" screeched Margeruite as she flew towards him and began hacking away.

Iris saw the thing fly out the window and jumped out. She barely managed to catch it.

Then, she fell. Wham! Iris hit the pavement and blacked out. She woke up at least an hour later at the boarding house.

Gretchen was still in her wheelchair, staring out the window.

Going home never looked so good. She remembered what the Ubergonzo had said, when she chose to stay on Earth. "You know this is forever, right?"

She had nodded slowly. There was no turning back now.

Her wings were tingling. She wanted to fly, but she was pretty much paralyzed, except for her arms, neck and face.

This all went accordingly to Rufus`s plan.

She sighed and picked up a slice of dragon fruit. She chewed slowly.

Kermit entered the room. He saw Iris, sitting on the sofa, her head wrapped in bandages.

He wasn`t sure if that antidote really was an antidote. A lot of Muppets were sustaining bad injuries.

Margeruite had several cuts and bruises, Animal sprained his ankle, Lew`s fish were under extra care and so on.

"Room service!" yelled Bobo.

The next day, Gretchen woke up. She tried to sit herself up. "Here, let me help you" Gonzo said.

"If I want help I`ll ask for it" Gretchen snapped.

"Sheesh, sorry."

She was supposed to be at the studio, making an All Star music video, with Skeeter, Iris and Margeruite.

Instead, Gretchen was sitting on an exam table, with whitecoats taking notes and muttering to each other.

"Reflexes" shouted one, as he produced a small hammer and smacked her knee with it.

No motion, whatsoever.

She seemed to be taking a turn for the worst.

That night, she would have been dressed in her black ninja outfit, on a toilet paper raid, with her friends, Iris, Margeruite, Robin, and Bean. Only they would be addressing each other with code names.

Margeruite was Maple Leaf Charmant, Iris was Rainbow Fury, Robin was Green Guts, Bean was Long-Ears, and Gretchen was Raven Lunatic.

Then they would have proceeded to T.P. the house.

But instead, Gretchen was stuck at the hospital, staying overnight.

Iris sincerely wished Gretchen was back. Toilet Paper raids just weren't the same without her.

They attempted to pull it off, but no one could T.P. the fans as decoratively as Gretchen.

No one could con their way out of cleaning it up the next day like Gretchen, who was good at pinning it on Pepe and Rizzo.

These were the prank teams against each other.

Margeruite couldn't say she disagreed with her either.

The next day, at breakfast, The only thing left was rice cakes. There never was much competition for them, but Iris thought, with a pang about Gretchen, who was crazy about them.

She didn't have much stomach for them, so she skipped breakfast and retreated to her room, where a letter from….

Her Mother?

_Dear Iris,_

_I`m sorry I threw you out. I don`t know what I was thinking. I miss you, and I hope you`ll move back in with me. I guess that was one drink too many that night. I know you hate the neighborhood, and our apartment, but a new family has moved in upstairs. They are Muppets too and I think they are dogs. There are 5 kids, too many for a two room apartment, and their mother, who claims that they are in town for the wedding of their oldest daughter, that lives at the boarding house. Do you know anything about that?_

_Best,_

_Mom_

Iris chucked it under her bed. Mageruite sauntered in and flopped onto her bed. She pulled a laptop out from under her bed, and was skyping her mom within minutes.

Gretchen was already sick of this. You could say she had a legit case of Cabin Fever. Unfortunately, there would be no cool song with fruit hats, maracas and dancing. Ouch. That last one itched at her, hit her like a freight train.

She pushed that thought aside, but it came right back, like metal shavings and magnetite.

She missed her ballet shoes, tap shoes, jazz shoes, and weird little foot thingies.

The nurse came in, and took her temperature and basically gave her a checkup.

Then, the doctor figured he ought to try Flu medicine.

This kind of thing went on for weeks, with prescriptions of different Flu medicines, with no result, until one day, the doctor checked her reflexes and, her toes wiggled.

Yes, Gretchen`s toes wiggled!

This was some kind of progress, and apparently, she could start therapy early.

Once the other Muppets heard this news, they had a party.

There wasn't much progress after that, but therapy started.

It was at some rehab place, and yes it was hydrotherapy.

A group of Muppets came, mainly Kermit, Gonzo, Iris, Margeruite, and Robin.

Once Gretchen was at the edge of pool, her therapist came. She was carrying a bunch of foam thingies.

"Get in' she said. Gretchen hesitantly scooted into the pool, using her arms to push herself.

Once she was in the pool, her therapist asked "How does it feel?"

Gretchen was struggling to float, but seeing as her legs didn't work, she spluttered out "I can`t swim, you idiots!"

"Where`d she learn to talk like that?" asked Kermit.

Everyone simply shrugged.

Her therapist pulled her out of the water, but Gretchen was still coughing and spluttering.

"Try this" the therapist strapped a foam buoy to Gretchen`s back "How`s that?"

Gretchen looked disapproving.

At the end, as Gretchen was pushed back to her room.

"If you can`t swim, then how come you got in the hot tub?" asked Gonzo.

"Ever wonder why I always wear a lifejacket?"

Weeks passed by and Gretchen`s condition seemed to be taking a turn upwards. She had gone from a wheelchair to a pair of rather small crutches, seeing as she was only an inch taller than Pepe.

She was even able to stay at the boarding house instead of the hospital.

Gretchen still couldn't dance, but she discovered a better way to get around, than using her crutches:

Army Crawling on the floor.

All seemed fairly well, but one day, Shelby was walking down the street, when a man with a thick mustache and big hat showed up.

"What are you doing in these parts?!" he asked her "You should be at Westminster, you`re the most gorgeous collie I`ve ever seen!"

Shelby woofed "_What?"_

"Come with me dear, and I`ll take you there myself" he said.

He got Shelby into his car, but stopped at an old warehouse.

_This is Westminster?_

He roughly grabbed Shelby and locked her in a crate.

Shelby winced.

He took off his fake mustache to reveal Rufus.

Then, he pulled out a pen, paper, envelope and stamp.

Rufus wrote "Mr. Gander,

If you would ever like to marry your fiancée, come to the Rocks and Stuff Warehouse alone!

I am being serious, if I find anyone else with you, well, Shelby gets it.

Remember, I know where you live,

Rufus

Gander shuddered when he read it. No wonder Shelby hadn't come home in the last day.

And the wedding was supposed to be tomorrow!

Gander sighed and picked up his bike. He rode that thing over to the warehouse, where there was no one in sight.

Mean while back at the house, Bunsen and Beaker determined the syringe was a vaccine.

They stuck the needle in Gretchen`s arm and pushed it home. Gretchen winced just the slightest bit.

At the warehouse, Gander was facing off Rufus, who had Shelby trapped.

Luckily, Gander had borrowed without asking. He whipped out Piggy`s Mind mist.

Rufus was about to gut him like a fish, but Gander gave him a nice big spray.

"Oh, what was I doing?' Rufus asked.

'You were going to free the dog, leave the Muppets alone and go with the police to Alcatraz."

'Right, sure" Rufus opened the cage and when, the police pulled up, got in the car.

Gander and Shelby arrived at the boarding house just in time. Shelby`s family was there, all six dogs, and several creatures wandered around, obviously Gander`s relatives and the UberGonzo.

More of a surprise, they heard the sound of tap shoes on the floor upstairs. Gander peeked into her quarantine room and saw no sign of existence in there at all.

"Where`s Gretchen?" he asked as Iris flitted by.

"Upstairs"

He looked in the walk in closet in Gonzo and Rizzo`s room.

There was Gretchen, grinning like a maniac wearing a plaid skirt and tap dancing her heart out.

The crutches were leaned against the wall.

'What the?"

Shelby was barking and chasing all her younger siblings.

The UberGonzo was sitting on the table, watching.

Gretchen somersaulted down the stairs, and landed squarely on the couch.

'Mr. UberGonzo?!" she asked, shocked to see him

The next day was the wedding. It was towards the night.

The ceremony was starting.

The imperial march from Star Wars played.

Shelby`s mom had insisted on having the ceremony at a church.

Gander stood, waiting at the altar.

Shelby began to sashay down the aisle. She was beautiful!

Her longer strands of collie fur around her face had been braided with flowers, and she was wearing a white dress with a black feather appliqué.

Once she took her place next to Gander, the minister had them take their vows, and had the ring and collar brought up.

Rowlf began to sniffle.

Soon the whole row of dogs was sniffling, while the aliens stared at them, confused.

Why were these creatures leaking at the face?

"You may now kiss the bride"

At this point, Gretchen woke up.

She wished she was still asleep, seeing the kissing.

Later at the party, Gretchen was dancing with Iris and Margeruite.

The UberGonzo walked up to her "You look lovely, Gretchen."

H e had a right to do this, seeing as after aunt Tira died, he took her in.

"Well, don't tell me, tell Gander, he made me wear this."

It was true, Gander had talked her into her long black and white polka-dotted dress.

When the night was over, everyone went to bed except for a few people: Maple Leaf Charmant, Rainbow Fury, Green Guts, Raven Lunatic and Long-Ears.

It was prankster time!

Gonzo woke up tangled in silly string, Kermit found toilet paper artfully stretched across ceiling fans and chandeliers, Saran Wrap covered every toilet seat, Piggy`s shampoo wouldn't come out of the bottle, When Pepe was in the shower, Long-Ears took a cup of ice cold water and dumped it over the curtain rod. People kept seeing a blue and purple flash outside the windows, someone was bungee-jumping.

..


	4. Chapter 4

**Only two reviews on this whole story. I'm a bit disappointed. R&r. I'm begging you! *falls down on knees and breaks down in tears. I thought I'd write you a Christmas chapter, seeing as I'm catholic. I know not all of you are Christian or catholic, so happy whatever you celebrate!**

Pageant Rehearsal

Iris hopped on the bus. She had just been out and about ,Christmas shopping with Gretchen, who was still just a tad bit confused about the holiday. She was talking to Gretchen, when out of the blue, an unwelcome person boarded the bus. Actually, two of them.

"Blanch' Iris said, feeling just a bit angry "and Bailey, why are you here?"

The girl had pure white felt , topped with white blond hair. She had a small, black button nose. Big black shades covered her face, even though it was almost winter.

"Geez, Iris, you'd think I just walked into your bedroom. This is a public bus" she sneered.

"yeah, it's a public bus" the boy, Bailey parroted. He had orange, stringy hair, with unfriendly green eyes, yellow skin, and a bad attitude.

"Shut up, Bailey. This isn't a conversation for babies like you" she snapped.

"Don't be so mean, Blanch!" the boy exclaimed.

"Don't be so mean' Blanch mimicked.

Finally, the bus pulled into Iris and Gretchen's stop. But much to their dismay, Blanch and Bailey got off at this stop, too.

"Hey, wait up! We're headed to the boarding house too!" Blanch exclaimed.

When they got in the door, Kermit recognized Blanch.

Apparently, she had been staying in the boarding house, but she was an attic dweller, meaning she kept to herself.

On that note, they all went to bed.

The next day, everyone woke up bright and early, and headed to the theater. Today they would get parts for the Christmas show, and continue rehearsing.

"Margeruite, you will be the lead angel' Kermit said. Margeruite grinned.

"Blanch, you are an angel"

"Andy and Randy, you two are wise men"

"Bean, you are a wise man"

"Scooter, you are a shepherd"

"Gretchen, Robin and Bailey, you are all sheep"

"Iris, you are the star"

"Wayne and Wanda, you are Mary and Joseph"

That was just one of the scenes in the show.

"Skeeter and Gonzo will be directing you" Kermit stated.

"Ok, guys, from the top" Skeeter said. They were rehearsing this for the fifth time.

"Angels, your turn"

There were Margeruite and Blanch cat fighting.

"Skeeter, moi am the lead angel, not her!" Margeruite screeched.

"I could be the lead angel if you would just get out of my way" retorted Blanch.

"Girls!" Skeeter exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, but the lead angel is the lead angel. All the other angels follow her!" Margeruite shouted.

"But you don't know where you`re going. If you were the lead angel the night Jesus was born, he would have been born in Detroit!" Blanch retorted.

"Sis, we're having trouble with the livestock" Scooter stated.

"Livestock? This is a Christmas pageant, not the state fair" Bailey said.

"We're sheep, and proud of it. Baaa!" Robin exclaimed.

"Well, that is except for one of us" Bailey informed.

"What's wrong?" Skeeter asked.

'One of our sheep is a lost sheep' Scooter stated gravely.

"I'm not lost! I just don't want to wear the costume. It itches" Gretchen grumbled.

"She's right. It does. Why does it have to be made of wool?" asked Bailey.

"Because vous are sheep! Duh!" Margeruite interjected.

"Angels should mind their own business" Robin retorted.

"She doesn't know her own business" Blanch seethed.

"It's getting really hot up here! Can we get on with this?" Iris asked.

"Gonzo, we have a small problem" Bean said.

"What is it now?!' Gonzo asked.

"The other two wise guys have followed their star into the canteen and they're eating all the cookies!" Bean said.

"Oh brother" Gonzo and Skeeter said in unison.

**This was based off the pageant scene from Believe, which is a Christmas play, btw.**


End file.
